Computer Glitches and Other Extra-Terrestrial Phenomenon

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I remember purchasing my first word processor in the late 80s. Living far from town with the nearest neighbors miles away, it was a wonderful tool for typing letters and papers and playing games like the Oregon Trail. Slow and pathetic by today's standards, it provided fun entertainment. After years away we returned to a teaching positions and new computers in every classroom. Yes, there was just one for teacher use only, but it was handy for word processing, communication, and research.

In June of that year I shook with trepidation as I unhooked all the connecting lines and dismantled the array so that my new device could be stored for the summer. One student recognized my fear and offered to assist me and then he returned in August for reassembling the miles of wire leading to an assortment of contraptions. At the end of that school year, knowing that he would be in high school the following year, my computer-wise student came with colored tape, a diagram, and clear directions to support my re-computerization. I proudly used his design for years, marveling at how such a jumble could generate such wonders.

Since that time I have gained competence and confidence with the computer/cyber-world. Writing every day, my laptop has been my constant, faithful companion... Until December. My trusty friend had been acting a bit strangely - over-heating, running out of battery in a flash, and then attacking me with pop-ups galore. I worked with an online agent to clean up the tangle and laptop acted better for a few days until life turned. Slow with dropped documents and invading advertisements, all of my irritations assaulted me. Again I sought online help with temporary reprieve until Poof! My screen was frozen, new languages flashed onto the screen, and no entry to my work could be found. A trip to the Apple store confirmed my suspicions. My beloved had crashed. The tech said he had never seen anything quite like it as he worked to save my thousands of pages of documents, but his final recourse was to build buffer that would block and erase my documents so that a new operating system could be installed.

Of course, his words at this point included, "You do have everything backed up, right?" Hmmmm, "No." Unfortunately I had trusted my laptop and now payback for this folly headed my way. With a tip and a tap, my old-new machine was ready without all of my years of work cluttering its internal drive. But, I thought, I do still have my laptop.

Naturally my word processing system had been deleted and after searching my entire home and not finding my old version, I got online and purchased the "new and improved" version. My advice on this is, "Don't do it!" A system that worked well and reacted well intuitive is now a mind-boggling boondoggle. I save in documents and my saved work vanishes into cyberspace. The old thesaurus that allowed a one click to switch out a word is now a tedious process. And while I could rattle on for pages, I'll keep it brief, the new program is no longer a suite. Everything must be purchased separately, $109.99 for each special item so I advise that you search, rip your desk apart to find your old version. Do not purchase the new one.

But I had bought it and so I dedicated myself to learning, something I love to do, however, I admit that Word was getting the best of me. Working frantically one morning I inadvertently bumped my coffee - just a few drops, mind you, but enough for my laptop to wink, blink, sputter, and die. Back at the computer store my new tech felt my pain as she revealed the computer x-rays that exhibited rust where liquid and copper had met. We surveyed the computer display and soon a strolled out of the shop with my old laptop in one hand and my new one in the other.

Now you may be wondering why I am sharing this woeful message. It is for you, dear parents. Soon your senior will be graduating or your third grader will sprint off to summer camp and you will be left alone with the befuddlement of a computer. Learn now. Ask questions, take notes, jot down reminders, and accept all advice with gusto. You will be rewarded with a happy, carefree computer experience. And never forget "Back 'er up!" and that coffee and keyboards are a dangerous combination.

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